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[Jan. 22nd, 2008|07:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
what happened to me? |
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| drug test? |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|11:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | watching the stanley kubrick marathon on tmc | ] |
i guess tomorrow morning my parents are going to give me a drug test. apparently when i came home from the concert, i was talking too slow...so obviously i am stoned..or drunk..or something of that nature. i hate how fucking condenscending my parents are. i cant wait to prove them wrong. make them waste all that money on a drug test and find absolutely nothing in my system. maybe then i can gain a little more respect from them. i doubt it. they always have to be right. they'll probably say that i found some way to foil the drug test.
i'm glad i enjoyed today...tomorrow will most likely be hell. i'll get a bunch of "talks" since they know im smoking cigarettes again. then they'll give me one about all the drugs ive been sober from for three fucking months.
i love how my parents are sickingly strict now that i am at the age of 17. i think they are trying to have as much control over me as they can, before i have "free will." |
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| warts warts genital warts. |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|06:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hahaha | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | DEERHOOF | ] |
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| philIip |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|01:30 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MAYONAISE - SMASHING PUMPKINS | ] |
im calming down now.
after 4 cigarettes and the smashing pumpkins.
i played jellybelly, bodies, fuck you (an ode to noone), zero, the everlasting gaze, tales of a scorched earth, and x.y.u. over and over and over again.
sorry for my impetuous whining and anger.
bipolarity is quite an ugly disorder. |
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| in too deep. |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|12:31 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | smashing pumpkins | ] |
im caving in.
anger has completely taken over.
im pissed off at everything.
the music isnt fast enough.
isnt angry enough.
i hate just about everyone at this point.
im assuming that they couldnt give a fuck though.
everyone is completely aloof towards me.
but what can i expect of man?
we are no different than animals.
survival of the fittest, right?
we are all cynical. 99.8% of the time.
nobody cares, nobody understands.
excuse my whining. |
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[Jan. 12th, 2006|12:05 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | asdfjkl | ] |
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!
i am having the shittiest fucking week ever.
and now i just realized, i have fucking church camp this week-end.
FUCK!
what a great way to end the week.
fuck christians.
fuck everyone.
i hate you. |
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| ruined. |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|12:18 am] |
soo....i got high and ruined everything. jenna just broke up with me. we are over. i dont know what happened. sucks. |
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| well |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|11:37 pm] |
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well i have to admit. salvador dali paintings look pretty fucking amazing when you are on a grassy knoll. |
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| forgive me. |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | we suck young blood (your time is up.) | ] |
i am about to break my promise to myself. my vow of sobriety. i was supposed to last till my birthday. but...im bored and ive already forgotten the feeling of it. so why not?
see you on the otherside. |
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| the liver. |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|09:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the microphones | ] |
oh sweet jesus..
put the fire in my eyes
so i went to the market
just to see if i could fly
so i flew and i flew
and then i got the flu
so i sat in the basement
didnt know just what to do
the liver lived his life
on his lovely little lawn
and he watched over his flowers
until the break of dawn
said the sun to his grass
its just lovely to eat glass
so he broke all the windows
and then he swallowed the bass whole. |
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| the drift. |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|08:23 pm] |
close your eyes...
let the world drift away.
drift past the flowers
and drift past the trees
drift through the clouds
drift with the breeze
breathe deep...
let the poison fill your lungs.
run around a little
let your blood pressure rise
blood fills your head
succumb to your demise
close your eyes...
let the world drift away.
drift past the flowers
and drift past the trees
drift through the clouds
drift with the breeze
hold on...
your brain has exploded.
blood is everywhere
guts fill the room
your spirit is relesed
now go on to your fiery doom. |
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| TALK SHOW HOST. |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|08:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | RADIOHEAD | ] |
MY ATTITUDE AT THE MOMENT
I want to, I want to be someone else or I'll explode
Floating upon the surface for
The birds, the birds, the birds
You want me, well fucking well come and find me
I'll be waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches
And nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
You want me, well, come on and break the door down
You want me, fucking come on and break the door down
I'm ready...
I'm ready...
I'm ready... |
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[Dec. 20th, 2005|07:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | RADIOHEAD | ] |
5 YEARS AGO
How old were you?: just about 12
What school year were you in?: 6th
Where did you go to school?: woodsboro
Where did you work?: in 6th grade?
Where did you live?: yorba linda
Where did you hang out? with all the kids on the block.
How was your hair style?: short
Did you wear braces?: nope
Did you wear glasses?: yep
Who was your best friend?: haha. adam cupp
Who was your girlfriend/boyfriend? nope
Who was your celebrity crush? haha. probably britney spears or something.
Who was your regular-person crush?: um...sarah?
How many piercings did you have?: nope
How many tattoos did you have?: ...
What was your favorite singer?: tom petty.
What was your biggest fear?: spiders.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: nope
Had you gotten drunk or high yet? nope
Had you driven yet?: yeah.
----------------------------------------------------------------
LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW...
----------------------------------------------------------------
How old are you?: 16
What school year are you in? junior
Where do you go to school?: VHS
Where do u live?: yl still
Where do you hang out?: at home.
How is your hair style?: longish.
Do you wear glasses?: i should be. contacts?
Who is your best friend?: amy...stefanie? i dont really have friends anymore. sucks.
Who is your girlfriend/boyfriend?: jenna.
Who is your celebrity crush?: uh...billy corgan, thom yorke
Who is your regular-person crush?: hmm...
How many tattoos do you have? none
How many piercings do you have?: none
Who is your favorite singer?: i dunno. there are so many lovely voices out there. haha. probably thom yorke and billy corgan...elliott smith...jim morrison? i give up.
What is your biggest fear?: ive already faced all my fears.
Have you driven yet?: mhm.
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: jasdl;fjaldkfj. i NEED one right now. bring me some.
Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: haha. yeah. its been a couple weeks. |
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| my whore. [the one that i adore] |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|04:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | SMASHING PUMPKINSSSSSSSSSS | ] |
i[eye]. love[luff]. her[jenna].
4 a.m.
shitt. i need to leave for school in 3 hours.
lakjd;lfakj
It's you that I adore
You'll always be my whore
You'll be the mother to my child
And a child to my heart
We must never be apart
We must never be apart
Lovely girl you're the beauty in my wrold
Without you there aren't reasons left to find
And I'll pull your crooked teeth
You'll be perfect just like me
You'll be a lover in my bed
And a gun to my head
We must never be apart
We must never be apart
In you I see dirty
In you I count stars
In you I feel so pretty
In you I taste god
In you I feel so hungry
In you I crash cars
We must never be apart
Drinking mercury
To the mystery of all that you should ever seek to find
Lovely girl you're the murder in my wrold
Dressing coffins for the souls I've left behind
In time
We must never be apart
And you'll always be my whore
Cause you're the one that i adore
And I'll pull your crooked teeth
You'll be perfect just like me
In you I feel so dirty in you I crash cars
In you I feel so pretty in you I taste god
We must never be apart
[[that sums up just about everything.
they have a song for every mood.]] |
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| polarity=bi |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|11:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | RADIOHEAD | ] |
what the fuck?
i was in like the best mood all day.
the happiest ive been in a long time.
and then suddenly i just turned all blah.
like literally within seconds.
l;akdjsflkdjf;djkjd;lajlkjad;lja;ldsj;ladjfkjads;ladkfj
l;dfkjal;skdjf;lajsdfadlkfja;sdlfj;laskdjf;lakjf;lkjd;l
lak;dsjf;lajdf;lkajdfljal;dfj;aldskjf;ladj;laj;aldfkla; |
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| [describe yourself using song names from one band] |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|06:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ava adore | ] |
| Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band | | Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: |  | | Are you male or female:: | Rhinoceros | | Describe yourself:: | God | | How do some people feel about you:: | Shame | | How do you feel about yourself:: | Frail and Bedazzled | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: | Where Boys Fear to Tread | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: | Ava Adore | | Describe where you want to be:: | In the Arms of Sleep | | Describe what you want to be:: | Bullet with Butterfly Wings | | Describe how you live:: | Obscured | | Describe how you love:: | Cubid de Locke | | Share a few words of wisdom: | The Beginning is the End is the Beginning | Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d |
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| sobriety. |
[Dec. 13th, 2005|04:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the doors - people are strange | ] |
i think im gonna try sobriety for awhile. im sick of being fucked up on everything all the time. its nice not being addicted to anything, having the ability to quit whenever i want. well, atleast the physical addiction isnt there. i still have many mental addictions. so yeah...lets see how long this joyride lasts. |
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